Normal. What does that exactly mean? And by who's definition do we set our "normal" standard? Well, when you're going down the road of infertility "normal" is defined by blood tests, follicle size, hormone levels, and when it comes down to it, an 8 x 11 oft framed piece of paper declaring the person sitting across the desk from you, an "expert."
Those who have gone through this perplexing experience know that when you are waiting on tests or results, the LAST thing you want to hear is "everything looks NORMAL!"
Because NORMAL means we just have to keep plugging and try to figure things out, try another treatment, or try again and see what happens. Because if there was something ABNORMAL, at least we could pinpoint it, and then treat it and get on with it.
But you can't treat NORMAL.
Don't misunderstand me. I truly am thankful that there isn't anything so seriously wrong that it can't be fixed.
And I know this is where, because medical technology cannot give me answers, I am learning to lean on God even more than I have been.
I was just chatting with a friend about all of this. She has been down this road but now has four beautiful children so she can look back and see His handprints. She made the comment that at her stage in the game it is easy to be calm, but at my stage is when it is easy to completely lose your sense of calm.
And that right there is a testament to my story and how God has truly worked in it at every second. Because I have had a sense of peace and calm for the last year of this journey, since my Walk to Emmaus last June.
And I'm absolutely excited about the future and the pitter-patter of little feet.
Ecclesiastes 11:5: Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.