Two Hearts Beating Wildly

This pregnancy has been nothing if not unpredictable.  Yesterday was another reiteration of this fact.

Saturday I had a procedure called a cerclage placed in my cervix.  Basically it is two stitches that help to hold the cervix closed.  In my case, it is just precautionary, done only because I'm pregnant with twins and if you wait until there is a problem, it can often be too late and you can lose the pregnancy.  This is done often with multiples because of the added weight on the cervix during pregnancy.  It is also done with singletons when there is what is called an incompetent cervix. 

Pain and all, I was happy to oblige, and so we were at the hospital in Lubbock early in the morning Saturday.

I knew to expect a little bit of bleeding after the procedure, but that it should clear up in a couple of days.

Yesterday, after it had not done so, I decided just to text my doctor (I'm SO blessed to have a doctor who personally takes my calls/texts), and just see what he thought.  He thought it would be good to check me just to make sure the stitches hadn't come loose or any other complication hadn't arisen.

My mom and I headed to Lubbock after I got a sub for my class.  Dr. Hales said he would just work me in.

The first thing we had done was a full ultrasound.  The first question the sonographer asked was, "Do you know what you're having?  Is it a surprise?"  I said we knew Baby B was a boy, but were never able to know for sure about Baby A.  I also added if she saw any evidence to indicate what Baby A might be, to not hesitate in sharing it with us.

As soon as she put the wand on my belly, this is what we saw.  Seriously, this was the very first picture on the screen.  She said very matter of factly, "Well, you definitely have...

One BOY  and one GIRL !!!

Did you notice the subtitles the sonographer so graciously added to the picture?

When she said those words to me, tears streamed down my face.  Not because I was disappointed thinking they were both boys.  Not in the least.  We were happy with any combination, and would have been happy with even one.  

We would have been absolutely and abundantly blessed with anything, but when she said we had one of each, tears of gratefulness flowed almost uncontrollably.  

Psalm 37:4 immediately came into my mind, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."  

Indeed.  He is able to "do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine," (Ephesians 3:20).  I do not deserve this blessing, but here He is, giving it freely and I am overwhelmed to the point of tears.  I'm overwhelmed because I don't know how to adequately thank Him or praise Him for His mercy and kindness to us.  

I would continue to ask for prayers for our little growing family.  During the exam, it was determined my cervix was unusually irritated and in a "friable" state (which just means fragile and that it bleeds easily).  I had to some tests sent off yesterday and we are praying for complete healing of any infections and for healing of my cervix, in then name of Jesus!   

  

Don't Just Hear It

Listen to it.  I've heard it before...it was part of Fireproof.  But I hadn't really listened.  God saved it for the perfect moment and then it ministered to my heart and put into words what I couldn't.  Never underestimate the power of a melody and God's timing.


John Waller - While I'm Waiting (Official Music Video) from Provident Label Group on Vimeo.

While I'm Waiting  
John Waller

I'm waiting


I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Psalm 6

I ordered a new book the other day and it finally came in. I grabbed it out of the mailbox this morning on my way to work. It intrigued me because it claims to be, "medically reliable, and biblically sound," and is published by the Christian Medical Association. When you deal with infertility, one of the hardest parts is having to choose between making medical decisions to intervene or completely waiting on God's timing and healing, or a combination of both. This has by far been the most difficult part of this for me. I don't like making decisions. So, as I've been reading a bit here and there in my new book this morning, I came upon an excerpt from Psalm 6. I grabbed my Bible and read it and it spoke to my heart this morning, as I'm dealing with a strange flood of apprehension and fear, neither of which are from God!


Psalm 6 (from NIV)

O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger

or discipline me in your wrath.
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint;

O Lord, heal me, for my bones
are in agony.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O Lord, how long?

Turn, O Lord, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave?

I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes.

Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my weeping.
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
the Lord accepts my prayer.
All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.

Note: Emphasis is mine.

He is Good

Don't we always read or hear the phrase, "God is good!"? I know I do, and in the good times, it's easy to believe, right? But sometimes I wonder, if the person saying it, including myself, would be saying the same thing if the circumstances weren't so grand? We say God is Good when our cancer has been cured. We say God is Good when a plus sign shows up on a pregnancy test. We say God is Good when an estranged relationship is healed.

But do we say God is Good when the cancer is still there, or comes back later? Do we still praise him and say God is Good when there's a negative sign on that pregnancy test? Do we still say He is Good when the person on the other end of that relationship refuses to forgive and move on?

I think as humans, it goes against our nature to give praise for something that makes our lives difficult or that we don't understand.

James 1:2-4 says:

²Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Yes, He is Good in the good times. But He is Good in the bad times, as well.

God is Good...All the Time.

Your Appointed Time

A colleague sends these devotionals to me daily. They are from Joel and Victoria Osteen. Sometimes I read them, sometimes I don't. But this one I happened to read was absolutely speaking right to me, and I thought of many of my friends (in both the real and the blog worlds), who could probably use this encouragement, as well.

Of course I had to share, and what better way than here?

TODAY'S SCRIPTURE

"For the vision is yet for an appointed time…though it tarry, wait for it"
(Habakkuk 2:3 KJV)

TODAY'S WORD from Joel and Victoria

God has an appointed time to fulfill the visions, dreams, and desires in your heart. Just because it has taken a long time or because you've tried and failed, doesn't mean it's not going to happen. Don't give up on those dreams! Don't be complacent about pursuing what God has placed in your heart. Our God is a faithful God. No matter how long it's been, no matter how impossible things looks, if you'll stay in faith, your appointed time is coming.

Remember, every dream that's in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God put it in there. And not only that, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. Hold on to that vision today by declaring, "My time is coming. God is working behind the scenes on my behalf. I will fulfill my destiny!" As you continue to hold on to that vision and speak life over your dreams, you'll see them begin to take shape. You'll see your faith grow, you'll see your hope strengthen, and you'll see yourself step into the destiny God has prepared for you!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY

"Father in heaven, I receive Your truth today. I receive Your promises today. I ask that You ignite my heart with Your holy fire so that I can pursue Your perfect plan for my life. Make my thoughts and words agreeable to Your will. In Jesus' Name. Amen."

So, I'll keep WAITING ON HIM...until HIS appointed time.

It's Done for 2009

Yesterday was an extremely difficult day for me. I am hoping it will be considered the worst day of 2009 and I will be done with it! In fact, I'm determined it will be. Done.

I'm amazed at how God communicates with me sometimes. I wanted nothing to do with listening to Him yesterday. Remember, just being honest here.

Yesterday, I got up and immediately a feeling of doom just fell over me. It is so hard to explain, but I can't imagine any of you haven't felt the same way at some point. I mean, I literally felt a cloud hanging over my head...agitated inside, irritable, angry, frantic.

So, I sat on the couch and tried to drown it out with television, but I couldn't focus. I kept thinking about God. Nothing specific really, just Him and what He's about and how I didn't understand Him sometimes.

And then the tears started and they just came and I couldn't control them and I sobbed and I screamed at Him and begged of Him, and asked him why.

And then the phone rang.

It was my mom and she had some news. It turns out my dad has prostate cancer. We talked some more and I cried some more. She gave me lots of information and reassurance. He will have his prostate removed in a few weeks and everything looks very positive. His cancer is contained and he will have a robotic procedure done to remove it. So, even though the news was not good, it could have been much worse.

I get off the phone with Mom and I'm sobbing again. But something picks me up and takes me into the kitchen and I start to make lunch for Richard and me, something I wasn't planning on doing that morning. It seems so small, but it was, in some small way, a step forward in that moment. I just had an urge to move forward and move on from that single second, on to the next. That was my pace yesterday morning.

I bawled over a pot of boiling eggs for tuna salad. I laid my forehead on the counter and just let my shoulders heave, and for the first time that morning, instead of talking TO God and yelling AT Him, I cried out FOR Him. I begged Him for help and told Him I needed Him and I didn't know what to say. And He heard me.

2 Samuel 22:7

In my distress I called to the LORD;

I called out to my God.

From his temple he heard my voice;

my cry came to his ears.

So, the day was filled with emotions, up and down and all around, but as always, this too shall pass and slowly things started to even out and the day continued. We worked in the country, talked with my parents again, and I had a good night's sleep.

You know when you have those "aha" moments, or those, "i've never thought about it that way" times? Well, I had one yesterday in the midst of all of this chaos and it's going to be so ridiculous, but I'm going to share it because it is what prompted this post in the first place.

All of a sudden, while we're out in the country feeding horses and checking on cows, it hits me. "Charla, you can either let this day own you, or you can make it a day that glorifies God because He has pulled you out of the mire and the pit you woke up in and it's the least you can do for Him to put a smile on your face and find something to be thankful about. You have a choice to have joy or not, and you're the only one that can make it. So, it's time to put your big girl panties back on, and get over it."

I promise those of you who left that in your comments to me in yesterday's post, those are EXACTLY the words that I said to myself...BIG GIRL PANTIES and all!

And by the end of the day, I was better. Not great. But okay.

Slowly, I have come to realize that it was nothing more or less than spiritual warfare I was dealing with. I 100% believe that we are dealing with an evil spiritual world here on earth and that our prayer is what keeps Satan and his demons at bay. If you've never read Frank Peretti's This Present Darkness it will open your mind to the power of prayer and to the potential power Satan has over our lives.

Ephesians 6:12

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

So today I've golfed, I've lounged by the pool and I've been thinking and praying.

I do hope posts like this serve to glorify Him and that no person reading them ever feels like I've given up on Him. Even in the worst of times, I will serve Him because it's all I know to do. I just feel like it is so important to show the world that Christians are just as weak as the next person and that the ONLY way we climb back up onto our feet is with the help and GRACE of Jesus Christ. If this blog was only filled with the "good stuff" of life, it wouldn't represent me and my daily struggle to love Him more and live in obedience to His Word, something I struggle with every second of my life!

I Don't Want to Be Her

I don't want to be that girl today.

I don't want to be strong.

I don't want to be the one they say has such great faith.

I don't want to pray about it...again.

I don't want to put a smile on my face.

I don't want to pretend I'm okay.

I don't want to hear nice things about how great it's going to be SOMEDAY.

I don't want to wait on a phone call.

I don't want to check levels.

I don't want to plan the rest of my summer because of timing.

I don't want to keep waiting and waiting.

I don't want to be her.

I WANT to cry.

I WANT to scream at God.

I WANT to curl up in a ball in my bed and stay there all day long.

I WANT to watch t.v. and numb my heart and just space out.

I WANT to know WHY?!

I WANT what they have.

I WaNt to be obedient.

I WaNt to love Him no matter what.

I WaNt to want to be her.

Because We Believe

In choir, we're practicing a beautiful song called Because We Believe. You might have heard it before. It was released in 1996, so it is fairly contemporary. Anyway, we started practicing it yesterday, and I just love the narration, so I thought I would share it with all of you.

The song is based on 1 John 5:13:

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.


Here is the narration:

That which is held sacred by the Body of Christ is revealed to us in the Holy Scriptures. Why do we believe the Scriptures are indeed the Word of the Lord? Because we refuse to believe that an Almighty, All Powerful, Omnipotent God is not capable of Almighty, All Powerful, Omnipotent deeds. God's Word is a miracle. The same hands that sculpted mountains and galaxies that were pierced by nails on our behalf--guided the hand of His servants, as the Spirit breathed into the language of Man the eternal Word...created by the Father, revealed by the Spirit and fulfilled by the Son.

There are those who claim that many paths exist that lead to whomever we believe or define God to be. However, we do not define God---He defines us. There is only One path to the Father and it is clearly marked by a bloodstained cross and an empty tomb. Those who claim the Master are reborn into a bloodline that does not trace its origin to a culture but to a cross...does not depend upon what we bring but upon what He freely gives...not based in trying to know about God---but actually knowing God.

How can we believe something so unimaginable? We take the courageous, cognitive leap of Faith...and by His power at work within us---this is what we believe.

My favorite part of this is at the end of the second paragraph where it says that our claim to the Master is not based in trying to know ABOUT God, but actually knowing God; this means we have a personal relationship with Him, and that we strive to grow this relationship, not just study and read books ABOUT Him.

It's Not About All That

February 25th started the Lenten season. I gave up Diet Sodas because that was a true sacrifice for me. But it's not about all that.

The candy aisles are stocked with many delectable treats; and just as on all the other main stream holidays, we will buy a few bags because who can pass up malted eggs at Easter? But it's not about all that.

The babes are all excited about hunting Easter eggs and what they will find when they pop open the plastic shells. But it's not about all that.

Every major department store will have major sales on sweet, smocked dresses and precious, navy pants so we, especially the kids, can look just perfect for Easter Sunday church. But it's not about all that.

We will, once again, practice the annual family traditions, especially the grub! But it's not about all that.

Here's what it's all about...

Do You Know What Today Is?

Yes, it is February 25th, but that wasn't what I was asking. Today is the first day of the Lenten season, which will last forty days, through April 11th, the day before Easter, the day of Christ's Resurrection. Many of you know, I was raised in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and am very proud of those roots. My ancestry goes back generations in the church, all the way back to its origin in Scotland. And, my parents were both raised Presbyterian, so it scales my genealogy on both sides of my family.

So, when I married a Southern Baptist man, and we decided to become part of the First Baptist Church in College Station, I was conflicted to say the least. That's an entirely different post, and I will get to it someday. The point is, I had to give up some of the observances and traditions I was so accustomed to in the FPC because they weren't part of the FBC.

One of these customs is observing the Lenten season. (There are some Baptist churches that do observe Lent, but the church, as a whole, does not). Most people associate Lent with Roman Catholicism, but this is not entirely accurate. So, I did some research and found several explanations of Lent, what it means, and who observes it/doesn't observe it and why.

I love the ancient tradition and the implications of the Lenten season. I like the idea of observing, just as our Christian predecessors did, the act of giving something up (in their case it was food in the form of fasting), for forty days. I always saw this as a way to sacrifice SOMETHING of myself, as Jesus sacrificed ALL of himself. I am not equating the two, mind you.

So, I am posting below the information I found and I hope it helps you to better understand, if you don't already, what Lent is all about and how it can be a time of personal growth.

Also, I am going to join a Lent Reading Plan on Biblegateway.com. It is a daily reading from the Bible (40 days total), starting in Matthew and reading through the Gospels and ending in 1 Corinthians. I am excited about starting my days reflecting on these passages in anticipation of the Resurrection, Easter Sunday! I encourage you to join, too!


Please read:

The information below was taken from Chris Bonts's blog, senior pastor at a Baptist church in Auburn, Alabama.

Isn't Lent a Roman Catholic thing? The answer to this question is Yes and No. Yes, Roman Catholics observe Lent, but so do Presbyterians, Methodists, Anglicans, and Lutherans. Just because the Roman Catholic Church (RCC) observes Lent, however, does not mean that we are somehow sacrificing the gospel or identifying with the RCC with our observance. Lent, as a church observance, actually preceded the formation of the RCC by at least 200 years. The early Christian theologian Irenaeus (who was a disciple of Polycarp, who was himself a disciple of the disciple John), wrote of the early church's observance of Lent in the mid-second century. At that time Lent did not last forty days, but it was a pre-Easter time of preparation and focus for the church. Granted, Baptists have not traditionally observed Lent (this reality is owed to our free church tradition and general eschewal of all things liturgical), but that does not mean that we should not or cannot take an extended period of time to prepare for our Easter celebrations.

The Who, What, When, and Where of Lent When Lent first began to be observed in the church, it was common practice to baptize new Christians once a year. The baptisms took place on Easter. All new Christians were discipled (catechized) from the time they trusted in Christ until Easter when they were Baptized. The early churches, in an effort to help these young Christians grasp the significance of both their baptism and Easter celebrations, required them to fast for forty hours prior to their baptism. The fast was then broken after their baptism when the church celebrated its Easter feast. Gradually the entire church began to observe Lent as a way to prepare for their church's Easter celebrations. The length of time gradually was extended from forty hours to forty days. The number forty was intended to remind the Christian of the forty years the Israelites spent wandering in the wilderness and the forty days Jesus spent fasting alone in the desert prior to the public launch of his ministry that would carry him to the cross. The Israelites wandered because of their disobedience; Jesus purposely sought out the desert to fast and pray in preparation for his ministry, a ministry that would ultimately reconcile us to God the Father. The observance of Lent has remained forty days since that time.

But Why Lent? Just because we have answered the question of the origins of Lent does not necessarily mean that we should observe it. We first need to answer the question of why. There are two reasons why I desire for CrossRoad Church to observe Lent. The primary reason has to do with the original intent of the observance. The early church asked new Christians to observe Lent to impress upon them the significance of their redemption and the celebration of Easter. Eventually it became important enough that all Christians were asked to observe it. I want the members of CrossRoad Church to use the next few weeks as a time to accomplish the same objective in their lives. That is why we have chosen the specific Bible studies and sermon emphases we will be following in the next few weeks. The second reason why I desire for CrossRoad Church to observe Lent is because I want our folks to grasp the fact that we stand in continuity with early church and all those that have been redeemed by Christ in the past 2,000 years. The church did not start the day we were redeemed, it started the day of Pentecost. I want our church to develop a sense of their spiritual heritage.

Blessings Series: All the Time?

I've been contemplating this topic and these thoughts for a while now. Blogger Beware: Deep Thoughts Ahead! This will be the second installment in the Blessings Series. You can see the first installment here.

If you do not feel like a theological or philosophical subject for your blogging pleasure, then go ahead and scoot on to your next favorite site. Cuz I'm gonna pick your brain.

So, here's what I'm thinking about.

I've heard many times lately (on blogs, at prayer meetings, on the Internet, out of peoples' mouths, etc...) the exclamation, "God is so good!"

First, let me say I wholeheartedly believe this. But what I am wondering is what some would say when God doesn't seem good. Most of the time when I read these words it is in reference to a praise...someone has been healed, a baby has been saved from pre-term delivery, a disaster is averted, and so on. "God is so good!" Well, yes, yes He is.

But what if that someone died before they were healed? What if the baby WAS born prematurely and suffered greatly afterwards? What if the disaster came to pass and hurt many? Would we still speak those four words, "God is so good!"?

I'm sad to say I don't know.

I have been in the shadows, in the valley where it feels like He is not at my side and distant. I know what it feels like to, with every fiber of my being, not want to praise His name. Yet, somehow, in some way, I am able to. Why? Well, I don't know the exact answer, but I know it is from Him and has nothing to do with what I am capable of alone. But, I'm ever grateful for that blessing. Am I able to do this all the time, in every circumstance? Not at all! I am constantly questioning Him and His ways, His timing, His purpose.

And then I remember those words, "God is good ALL the time!" Not just in the good times, or on the mountaintops, or when it is easy for us to praise Him.

So, I pray that in those times when we feel He is farthest from us and out of reach, when we feel like He isn't listening and He isn't good, that we would all remember the truth:

He is good, ALL THE TIME!! Yes, even then.

Am I Second?

The actual title of this website is I Am Second. If you haven't been there, you must visit it right this minute. Don't put it off. It is amazing. My sister-in-love posted this video on her blog, so I visited it. And then I began searching through the entire site and watching others' words and stories. I am overwhelmed.

I even showed it to some of my classes (**gasp**...in public school? I know, I'm such a rule breaker), and they were silent as we watched (a miracle in and of itself).

These are powerful, powerful videos, friends; they are ideal for groups of young people like church youth, or even school youth if you can get away with it. I continually am amazed at the way God uses technology such as the Internet and personally, blogging, to reach out and help others talk about Him! Although Satan has found his corner of the WWW, as well, I love knowing God is there, in the midst of it all. Aren't you?

That said, as I watched these videos I couldn't help but ask myself, "Am I Second?"

To know what I'm talking about, I challenge you to visit the site and watch some of the videos. My favorites are Jason Castro, Stephen Baldwin, Shannon Culpepper, and Brian Welch.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think, and if you feel like it, give your thoughts on being second.

Mood, Mood Go Away!

A sweet, new friend of mine sent me a devotional the other day from the Purpose Driven Life series. I now subscribe to it and get it on a daily basis. It is a great way to start your day...for me, a cup of coffee, my Bible, my computer (for the devotional of course) and my back porch table are the perfect way to wake up and say hello to the Father!

So, Wednesday's devo, that I read today, was titled Self-Control is Not An Option. Anything that says "NOT AN OPTION" is bound to get my attention. Sadly, it is because my first instinct and reaction is usually to think, "who says?" Eek...do I need a little self-control? Um, yes.

The devotional was based on Titus 2:11-12, which states, "For the grace of God … teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives."

When I first read that verse, I thought worldly passions involved the things we want in this world, mainly material possessions. But Rick Warren goes on to pose these questions...Do you let your moods manipulate you? WHOA!!! Hold on there, now Rick. That's quite a personal question don't you think? There goes that strong will of mine again.

Seriously, that question got me thinking about feelings and what they are and what they mean. How many times do we say, "I just have a feeling..." or "I don't feel like it..." or "I just feel like he/she is..." or "I feel God wants me to..."

Our feelings do dictate many of our decisions. It is SO easy to be led by your feelings and emotions...your "WORLDLY PASSIONS."

God doesn't want us to be controlled by our feelings and our moods. Rick Warren tells us to "talk back to your feelings." What a cool idea, huh? Albeit, a little strange if you do it aloud in public!

Here is an excerpt I liked:
Believe you can change. The fruit of the Spirit begins in your thought
life. The seeds must be planted in your mind: The way you think
determines the way you feel, and the way you feel determines the way you act.

That reminds me of a little blog I just started reading...check it out here.

First Corinthians 10:13 says, “God is faithful; he will
not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are
tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it”
(NIV). Wareen goes on to say that we, as CHRISTIANS, have no excuse when it comes to temptation. We have been given the power, through HIM to say "no" to evil and to choose to do good. Uh-oh...I'm in big trouble.

But the unbelievable part of that for me...the part that I really started to get excited about as I thought about it was that HE KNOWS we will give into temptation. He doesn't want us to, and he tells us NOT TO. But, as sinners, he KNOWS we will. This is when his MERCY is greater and bigger than ever...when he tells us "No" and we do it anyway...we ignore the fact that he tells us He is faithful. But then, He forgives us. It's not because He had to, or because what we did wasn't that big of a deal. It is because he LOVES US...HE LOVES YOU, HE LOVES ME...HE LOVES ALL OF US...more than any person has ever been loved in the history of loving.

And this, my friends, is the BEST part of the whole thing! The big shebang, the glorious Alleluia, the Amen, Preach on Preacher, Tell it Sister, the Praise God and Glory to Him.....................are you ready?

When things get hard and Satan is tempting your heart to turn away from God, here is the good news...

"He never asks you to bear something that is bigger than the strength he
puts inside of you through his Holy Spirit."

God knows every one of your steps before you take them, so doesn't it make sense that He would know exactly what you would need to survive even the grandest temptation, to be able to "stand under it?"

So, answer this...

Do you, like me, allow your emotions, feelings, or moods to get the best of you and manipulate your decisions?

If so, I know Someone who can help.