For several months now, I have felt the need, the urge to really do something to help with the sad state of marriages, young and old, in our little town (and from what I know around the nation and maybe even world). Satan is certainly finding weak spots in our marriages and relationships and has convinced us that the easy-way out is the best way.
Please know, I am not judging your situation IN THE LEAST! "Do not judge, lest ye be judged." Each of us has choices to make in life and in NO WAY do I know what is best for you or your family. And I also know there are some times when there is absolutely no choice but to leave the current situation you are in because it is dangerous and you or your children, or both, are in trouble. Just know it is on my mind because it is on my heart and it just makes me sad to my core.
I am daily thankful that I have never been in this situation in my marriage. I pray CONTINUALLY for marriages today, especially for those in trouble, on the brink of divorce, and even for those that appear strong; I pray for my own marriage, that God would continue to bless it and to show me ways to be a better wife.
Anyway, I have prayed for ways I can help with what I see as major spiritual warfare causing stress, sadness, depression and anger, among other things. Yet, I still really have no idea how I can directly help others than to pray! Then, I stumbled upon this website from another blog and thought it had been a while since I had done a giveaway!
SOOOOOOOOO...without further ado, here's what you're playing for:
Sorry guys, this one's for the ladies...but if you're interested you can visit the website listed on the tee for a My Wife Rocks shirt!1.) Leave a comment and tell me where you are (just state is okay if you aren't comfortable with details) and something you have learned from your own marriage that has been positive, a piece of advice you would give, or just a short anecdote about marriage. You see my drift...
2.) Make sure you include your email address so I can know how to respond to you and I can get your t-shirt size and mailing address!
3.) I will pick a winner (using a random number generator) in ONE week, which will be May 8th!
4.) If you mention the giveaway on your own blog and include a link back to my blog, I will enter your name TWICE!!!
YAY! I ♥ Giveaways! Now, go give your hubby a kiss!!!
I am so in on this one!!! I LOVE free stuff...and besides...my husband does rock!!!
ReplyDeleteThe best advice I can give anyone who is still single is "marry your best friend!" If you are already married, and failed to do that...become best friends!! You HAVE to spend time doing things that are fun for the other one...the sky's the limit!!
Also, make sure your man knows how wonderful he is--don't ever assume he knows!! Brag on him every chance you get...even if it seems like a little thing to you, it can be a BIG thing for him!!
I'm from Texas, btw!! ;)
Marry somebody you can live with, more than someone you can't live without.
ReplyDeleteMy mom taught me to compliment your man and don't nag. Men hate that!
My husband rocks and he is my rock!
I'll mention ya for sure at lenakatebowen.blogspot.com
lena_elaine@hotmail.com
Elaine B in SA
I live right down the road from you, here in the beautiful rolling plains of Texas. Hello :) I love the t-shirt give away idea, so count me in.
ReplyDeleteMy comment about marriage is; if your single take your time, have the courage to admit you are in the wrong relationship when you know you are and don't hang on just because you think you should.
And Second if you are already married; my husband taught me this, we were going through a bad spell and one day he just stopped responding to my defensiveness, and he didn't retaliate when I zinged him with an insult. Slowly but surely I began dropping my defensive attitude and things smoothed back out.
He taught me how to love and accept the place we were in and not concern myself with the things I could not change, and to change the things I could.
I feel like he showed me true love and acceptance. I was focusing on all the things that I thought were wrong, he stepped out and focused on all the things that were right. He showed me what a leader does and he lead me to the place he wanted us to be. Now all the good in our marriage way out number anything that was ever wrong.
Did I mention that I love this man?
I do.
I'm in too!
ReplyDeleteWell, I have been praying for the exact same things as you, my dear. I feel as though Satan is really working overtime these days in marriages, churches, and relationships in general.
The best advice I can think of is work hard at communication. Always let your partner know how much they mean to you, and don't take them for granted. Always pray for your spouse every day, even if you're mad. Ask God to help you love them in the way they need to be loved, be patient, sit back, and watch God move.
I'd have to agree with Amanda that it really helps if you marry your best friend, but if that's not the case, you can make it happen. You have to actively work at spending time with and communicating with your partner. Keep God first in your marriage.
I've been really blessed and pray for continued blessings in my marriage but I also realize that Satan is always around, and that a failed marriage could happen to anyone. This is why it is so important to pray for your spouse and marriage even when things are going well. It is important to put on the armor of God and stick that shield of faith up every single day.
I'm also from Texas btw...
I'm in!
ReplyDeleteMy man has always said that if people would spend as much time on the marriage as they do on the wedding they'd be a whole lot better off.
I say - he's right.
I have also found that as we each grow closer to God, we grow closer to each other.
Pray for each other, love each other, and laugh together.
(Texas strikes again)
I really don't know what to say, other than we have been married 52 years............as i told in my blog. Ups and downs, but main thing is...............STICK with it.
ReplyDeleteDawn Jenkins
ReplyDeleteLevelland, Texas
My advice came from a couple of "must read" books
1. Power of a Praying Wife - Pray for your husband...lay hands on Him, pray the Word over him at night!
2. Love and Respect - God calls us to give our hubbies unconditional respect.
3. Marriage on the Rock - Just b/c your marriage takes work (in some cases a lot of work) doesn't make it wrong. What in life can you put 0 effort into and reap all the benefits.
4. A Love Worth Giving - 1 Corin 13:4 - Love does not keep a record of wrongs, it is not self seeking, love never gives up. A marriage is all about the self-sacrificing love Eph 5:1-2 talks about. Love is not a gooey feeling it A CHOICE THAT RESULT IN ACTION.
I will be posting this on my blog SOON! lOVE YA SIS!
Cool shirt! My husband definitely rocks and I am so very lucky! We have been married for just under a year, but I realize that what keeps us strong is the silly moments that we have together. I too pray for our marriage everyday that it will stay strong and for what I can do to help it stay strong.
ReplyDeleteOh...I live in IL and my email is somimcn@yahoo.com. I read your blog from time to time but I'm not sure if I've ever commented. I'll put a link up on my blog too! Crossing my fingers to win!
And I love the new makeover!
I am from PA and I have learned that it is a must to give and take from my husband, we have leared so much from each other over the years.
ReplyDeleteMontana, USA. jill.hale26@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteHey Charla. I, too, think it is an extremely sad state that the world is in regarding marriage. It's weird that you brought this up today, because Jeremy and I were just talking about it and the children that often suffer.
One thing I learned in my family relations class at ACU was that LOVE is a learned behavior. I'm not saying just marry anyone and you'll learn to love them, but sometimes in marriage you have to actively practice love and not just quit when it gets boring or difficult. We will all go through different phases during the course of life and that can cause marital strain, but we shouldn't just give up, we should try to work through it and learn new ways to communicate and new ways love.
PS. I'm linking the website if I can figure out how!
PSS. I really really LOVE my hubby!!!
I am from Tennessee, and I think one of the most successful things my husband and I do is to try to make the other person happier than ourself. When you are both trying to do that, you are both bound to be happy!
ReplyDeleteHe does things for me like packing our little boy's diaper bag, warming my car up when it's cold, and always taking my plate into the kitchen when we're clearing the table. I like to leave him little notes in unexpected places, such as in his truck, in his shower, in "his" drawer where his deodorant and contact lenses are kept, etc. I also try to bring him something special when I go grocery shopping - he loves Crunch bars, and I try to let him "overhear" me talking about the sweet stuff he does for me when I'm on the phone.
This ended up being really long, but after 5 years of 99% bliss, I have a lot to say! My best advice would be to marry someone just like my hubby, though! He is really a wonderful man. I believe God truly made us for each other!
caroledenise@yahoo.com
I believe our success is due to our respect for each other. We have been married for 21 years and I'm thankful for my husband. His kindness, support and knowledge add so much to my life. My husband really does rock here in Missouri.
ReplyDeleteI'm a widow from Maryland. The think I learned was to treasure everyday with my husband, b/c those memories last a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteKimspam66(at)yahoo(dot)com
I love this post, as I reflect on my own marriage I have learned it is easier for me to say nothing than to say something negative. When we did the 40 day love dare challenge this was one of our things to do for a day.just one day and it was hard for me not to be a smarty pants to my hubby, now it is a great habit I have developed and our marriage is better for it. We have both grown over the last 6 months and ache for those in our area who aren't as happy. I thank God everyday I have Kyle, He is a gift from God.I am going to blog about your giveaway right now. Love ya girl.
ReplyDeleteLove the shirt - you've got a link with me on my blog! Gotta support my C-Town Friends! MARRIAGE - WOW! The man to trudge with you in this lifetime is so important! PRAY and have GOD led you both in ALL things! That is SO IMPORTANT - then the rest is so easy (not!) Hey! This is fun - thanks for a chance - LOVE the look of your new blog!
ReplyDeletear...something I learned is let things go..and another- family is great but if you don't get along don't strain yourself to do things with his family if it strains the marriage
ReplyDeletebtw...i just left a post with a link back to this...so enter me twice!! i sssoooooo want to win that shirt!!! :)
ReplyDeleteLaugh! Dave and I love being silly and laughing together. Find the humor in difficult situations and don't take this life too seriously!
ReplyDeleteYes, I would like my wife to have that shirt...she would look so hot in it!! (I would love to see her in the shirt only)
ReplyDeleteAnyway,
Ladies...Here is the advice or something I have learned about marriage:
Marriage is not a 50-50 deal. Some days it is 90-10 others it is 20-80. Most days you will have to give more..(at least you think you are.) The truth is co-existing with your spouse is trying your best every day to put that person first before yourself. My wife has already stated that she brags on me alot. I can't tell you how that makes me feel. I feel so loved and special like I am the very best bill-payer/vacummer/daddy alive. She also knows what makes me happy. That is done through communication. Our marriage has had it's rocky points throughout. And we will continue to have some snags in the road along the way. But, if we try to put each other first then you can work through the hard parts.
*Since I am the first and probably only male that has responded I think Amanda should get 5 more chances to win than others...Because, she would look really good in that shirt..
I got married when I was 16 years old and everyone I knew said it would not last.....trust me, at times I was thinking they were right! However, on Wednesday, May 6th, Jeff and I will celebrate 20 years as husband and wife.
ReplyDeleteBeing married that young, you make a lot of mistakes. I know as a wife, I have made a lot of mistakes. But, I do believe I have done some right things as well. I must have...we are going on 20 years!
The last four months of our marriage have been some of the toughest months of our marriage. These last four months have taught me that you cannot get so busy in the daily process of "life" that you forget to make your husband the number 2 priority in your life. The Lord should always be number 1. When you fail to strive to meet the needs of your husband, your marriage will begin to fall apart before you know it. You cannot say, "Well, I have needs he needs to meet." You have to meet his needs so at the end of the day, he cannot wait to come home. I know in the last year, I realized I failed to meet Jeff's needs and as a result, we were on the verge of a divorce. It took sitting down and discussing who got what piece of furniture and visitation with Madie to realize I didn't want to spend my life without him. We were on the brink of throwing 20 years of marriage away. His needs are now more important to me than my own, which is the way the Lord intended.
Thanks for the opportunity to express my opinion on this. This is a great blog posting Charla!
By the way...I did a post on my blog and linked you! :) Keeping my fingers crossed!
ReplyDeleteCharla ....I need that shirt! LOL
ReplyDeleteI have learned that you can catch more bees with honey so be sweet....nuf said!
Across the River...Okie!
Oh, you know how cute I would look in that shirt, Girl! ;-)
ReplyDeleteanywho. Advice? I love to offer free advice! So, here's mine: remember that people will disappoint you. Love them anyway.
Hey girl, how did you get so wise at such a young age? Love the idea.
ReplyDeleteAs far as advice I am going to tell you what my mom told me, what her mom told her, and so on.....the one that leaves HAS to take the kids!!!!!
Naw...all kidding aside, I adore my husband. He is a quiet, sweet, tender hearted man. God put him in my life at the perfect time and it only took 3 weeks before we were engaged!!
We have had lots of challenges in 19 years but we have worked through it. I would have to say we just pushed through it all. There are days we could literally hang one another, walk out, throw things, but we don't (well can't say I haven't thrown a shoe or two). You have to want it more than anything else. Fight for your marriage!
lkjenschke@hotmail.com
I posted you on my blog!
I found your blog through Kim Jenschke's blog - where I actually found Kim's through Ericka Moore's blog...all that to say - this is a wonderful idea.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is a two part:
1. Never mention the "D" word - not even in joking. My parents told me that when I was little and they've been married for 30 years now. My husband and I never mention the "D" word even in passing, joking, or seriousness.
2. Pride is the first thing to throw out the window. We all know that "i" is in the middle and "i" will be the last thing if you let it stay in a marriage.
Marriage + Pride = Divorce and since we don't say the "d" word - we really don't have a lot of room for Pride.
thanks for letting me put in my two sense!! and i did mention you on my blog:
www.zachandamyd.blogspot.com
Amy Detwiler - Childress, Texas
Really take the time to listen to your spouse. Never go to bed mad. Kiss him goodbye when he leaves the house. If he leaves the wet towel on the bed 6 out of the 7 days a week just give up yelling about it and get on with life. Because life is too short to yell about a wet towel. OK so I grind my teeth when I pick up the towel but I no longer yell:) Of course this took 37 years of practice:)
ReplyDeleteJoyce
Charla you constantly inspire me! Thanks for doing this! I too want that t-shirt!
ReplyDeleteI've learned so much in my marriage of six years. I also married my best friend and could go on for hours about all the wonderful things about him and why we believe our marriage is divorce proof, but I'll keep it short.
Chris and I work together as a team in everything we do. We like to be together and compliment each other well, but of course don't always see eye to eye. The most important lesson I've learned is that you must respect and be kind to your partner always. This is hard because it's human nature to be selfish. Opportunities are abundant each day to honor his needs before your own.
ssims2001@hotmail.com
Ummm, I am sitting here watching "O Brother Where Art Thou." Funny how the main character in this movie breaks out of prison/jail to get back w/hi wife and all the trouble he goes through to get her back as well as his girls (kids). I love this movie and she (wife) stated, 'I have said my peace and counted to 3!' and walked away. haha is that all it takes... hahaha jk.
ReplyDeleteBotos & I dated for 7 1/2 years before we got married. Upcoming this summer we will have been married for 6 years. a total of 13 years plus months of being together.
Things to have:
1. Sense of Humor.
2. Communication
3. Tickles.
4. Quickies
and the #5. is that I know I could never find anyone else like Botos. There wouldn't be and couldn't meet his standards if anything was to happen to him. (plus after one marriage, I don't want to get married again... ahaha.)
Like this idea Charla... your an awesome person. I will post this link to my blog if I knew how so I will mention it... ahhaha..
Luv me some Botos!!!
I live in the Tidewater area of Virginia.
ReplyDeleteI learned that compromise is a great thing. Being "right" isn't worth a fight or hard feelings. It's much better to talk things out and to reach an agreement that both people are happy with. It makes for a happier and stronger marriage.
My husband and I have been married for over 17 years! I think of him as my best friend.
hafner611{AT}gmail{DOT}com
Shortly after we married, one of the first things RA and I agreed on was that divorce would never be an option. I think what that did was force us to look for all kinds of other options to talk about and work through during our tough times. We are celebrating our 32nd year of an adventure together.
ReplyDeleteThe T-shirt is great..... but everyone else might think the giveaway was rigged if your mom got it. ;-)
Love ya-
Charla--although I don't know you very well, I think you are a very sweet, Christian lady whom I would love to get to know better. I enjoy reading your blogs; they are so inspiring.
ReplyDeleteI would have to say what Amy said: NEVER say the "d" word. That is what Kevin and I have always said and we are working on 20 years this December 2nd. Marriage is work and you both have to put forth that effort. It can't be one person doing all of it.
I love what Amanda says about bragging about your husband. I don't do that enough and after reading her blog, I am going to make a conscience effort to do that more often. You are right Amanda, they need to hear that from us.
I think the most important part in a marriage is having GOD in it. God has to be a part of your marriage. I don't have great inspiring words about this except the fact that God has to be in your marriage. Sorry, ugh!
You can't beat free stuff! Thanks Charla. Whoever wins it, congrats. I'm sure our husbands think each of us would look so good in it!!! ha-ha!
Cammie from Texas
I don't know how to get rid of that Mrs. Ralston's PreK class. That looks really silly on this post but.......I'm no blogger, even though I have tried. Anyway, this is Cammie from your town. You know how to get a hold of me if I'm the winner!
ReplyDeleteCharla, I'm in!!! Great idea. Whenever I purchase a wedding gift, I try to impress upon the new couple that the relationship they are entering into is not necessarily a joy ride; instead, it is an endeavor which takes a LOT of work on both the individual's parts. I like what our preacher said last week. Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition; it's a 100/100 proposition!!! The best example we as older couples can be is a "living example" of a Godly marriage, showing respect for one another, being kind and generous to one another. Try to think of things you can do for your spouse that he would enjoy. I fix Royce's coffee, and he really appreciates when I pour a cup for him in the morning. Yes, compliment him! Do to him what would make you feel better and you're surely to make a hit with him. Communication is KEY!!! Laughter and humor help out greatly! Praying for other couples, especially newly-weds. They are not always prepared for what marriage offers and sway too easily to the "easy way out" when things don't work out! Yes, Royce Marion ROCKS and he IS my best friend! IF I can figure out how to post your blog, I will definitely do that. Claudia Marion from Wheeler, TX rmarion@windstream.net
ReplyDeleteOh P.S. I love your new header. Claudia
ReplyDeleteMy husband totally rocks!!!
ReplyDeleteI am Kristen from Alabama! My blog is www.iloveyoutopieces.blogspot.com My email address is i_love_you_to_pieces@yahoo.com
I blogged about your giveaway and the link is...
http://iloveyoutopieces.blogspot.com/2009/05/my-husband-rocks.html
My piece of advice is to never take your husband for granted. My husband enlisted in the Army Reserves in September of 2008 and left for Basic Training in November of 2008. He hasn't been home since and will not be home until June of 2009... I realized as soon as he left how much I took him for granted. I knew I loved him with all of my heart before he left but I REALLY know how much he means to me now...
Even if I don't win the t-shirt....this is awesome.
ReplyDeleteWhere else can someone get so much wonderful advice and encouragement!! Great job, Charla!
Hi, this is my first time on your blog (I saw your comment on Kelly's latest post). What a perfect time to stop by!
ReplyDeleteI've been married almost 2 years to my husband who really does rock. He is my best friend and I love him more than words can say. He does however, make me madder than anyone else (we just say that the more you love someone, the more mad you can get)! There have been issues in our marriage that I never imagined we'd have to deal with (insecurity, abandoment, anger, etc.). I was confused until the Lord showed me so clearly that we are under constant attack and Satan does not want marriage to survive. The relationship with have with our spouse is the earthly reflection of Christ's relationship with the church and Satan hates that. The more we love our spouse, the more in line we are with where God wants us, and the further Satan can move us from that line, the better for him and worse for us. The only way we can fight back is to constantly ask God to watch over and protect our marriage. Prayer is our stronghold.
Woah, I didn't mean to write a book or anything, but I have strong opinions on this subject!
What a great contest, I hope I win!
Blessings,
Stephanie
stephanie.geist at gmail dot com
Cool shirt!!
ReplyDeleteMy Advice...
Ladies, don't dominate your husbands! You can't truly respect him as the God appointed leader of your house if he lets you boss him around all the time.
Book Advice...
Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans....This book completely changed my attitude and my marriage....
I feel it is extremely important for a couple to decide before they marry that there will not be an option for divorce. Marriage is one of the hardest challenges in life, and when trouble comes (and it will), then it has to be worked out. I think too many people get married today with the idea, if it doesn't work, then we can just divorce. I also agree with the husband as the boss of the house...God intended it that way.
ReplyDeleteThe best glue to keeping a marriage together is to pray together. There is no greater bond!
ReplyDeleteBelinda sent me over! I love these shirts and am passionate about seeing marriages going strong. I blog on Mondays about marriage. We are living proof that marriages can be restored and renewed. My "advice," get on your knees and ask God to change your own heart and mind where you have become bitter or hardened toward your spouse; then ask God to show you how to renew your marriage and DO what it is that He reveals to your heart.
ReplyDeleteIf you are interested in reading a bit about our story, you can go here: http://ateachableheart.blogspot.com/2008/08/renewing-your-marriage.html
This is Mrs. Tippett in your town.... I have Love this MHR stuff its great! I just started MHR Fridays on my blog! I have learned PATIENCE in the last 2 1/2 years of marriage. PATIENCE can stop fights or prevent them from happening, it can make a bad day better and it makes a marriage stronger. The lord has patience with us and we should have patience also.
ReplyDeletedude! you're totally RIGHT! this IS right up my alley! how fun!!! (besides all the serious stuff- like Christian and being a good man)--marry a man who makes you LAUGH!!! and know that when you have a baby--you are bringing the child into YOUR ALREADY FORMED FAMILY/MARRIAGE....do NOT center your lives around your child or your marriage will suffer greatly.
ReplyDeletesuzsteece@hotmail.com
Hey Charla....I've been married for 30 years, so I deserve that t-shirt!!! :) We are total opposites, so I really don't know how we stayed together so long. We've had some hard times, but we never gave up. I think that's the problem these days...it's just too easy to give up and get out of the marriage. But my advice is to not give up...just hang in there and things will get better. Of course there are exceptions, like abuse. But to just get out because you want to is no reason.
ReplyDeleteWe need to be seeking the Father's heart about our marriage. I've heard it said that we should be so buried in the Father and His love that our future husbands have to go through Him to find us! Choosing someone who totally loves the Lord is so important. Also, our husbands need our prayers so...PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. It may not change him, but it will most certainly change you. My husband and I have been married 34 years and it feels like yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI also am from TEXAS (no place else in the world!)
I live in Washington state. I have learned in my marriage that you need to find your own happiness in life. You cannot rely on your spouse to provide your happiness but he is great for support along the way!
ReplyDeleteajcmeyer AT go DOT com