But Take Heart!

I waited to share this with everyone until after our doctor's appointment this afternoon. I had the scariest, most emotional, and ironically one of the most spiritually growing experiences of my entire life last night. Of course, this all has to do with Sprout, the precious form growing inside of my belly. Without going into too much detail, I "bled" last night right before going to bed. Now, I say "bled" but it wasn't a constant flow, nonetheless it was more than just a spot. Okay, I know some reading this have never experienced it, and I honestly pray with all my heart you never have to because it is the most terrifying thing to happen at this stage in my pregnancy. I have to be honest and admit...I TOTALLY freaked out! I started shaking uncontrollably all over, and even with Richard holding on to me tightly, I couldn't stop. I was so scared. More scared than I've ever been...ever. So, we made phone calls to my sister-in-law, who has had the same thing happen to her with both her pregnancies, my mother, and the hospital. Long, long story, made a little bit shorter. I had no cramping at all and no more blood the whole night, but I couldn't shake this dread. It was like this dark cloud, hovering over me, the devil was whispering in my ear. Richard on the other hand, was totally calm. He kept repeating, "God is in control, and He's taking care of you and Sprout." He prayed over us with his arms wrapped around me as I, the seemingly faithless shell, just sobbed. Eventually, the crying stopped, but my heart was beating uncontrollably fast, which I knew wasn't good for Sprout or me. So, as I lay in bed, not able to sleep, this thought came into my mind, "Lord, just bring me peace, Lord just bring me peace." I said it over and over and over again until I was so tired I couldn't think any more. I still couldn't sleep, but slowly, this peace washed over my body and after the hour of sleep I did get, I woke up trusting my Father was holding Sprout in His hands and things were okay.

I made a Dr's appointment this morning and had a pelvic exam and things are just fine. My hormone levels are at 4,000, which is normal for my stage of pregnancy, and I will do another hormone check on MOnday to make sure my levels are elevating as they should. So, all is well.

I know there is a good chance this will happen again. I have always heard about the love a mother has for her child and how you just can never know it until you have experienced it. I know my child is only 6 mm long, barely even there. But Sprout is God's design and creation and I love her so much already! This is why I know the next time this happens, I will be better prepared for the devil's little games of doubt and fear.

Here is the scripture I looked up this evening after the day was over and I could take some time in my thoughts about what had happened. It is exactly what I was feeling and trying to trust as I repeated those words, "Just bring me peace, Lord," in bed last night.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33