Tuesday, November 27, 2007

WARNING: Deep thoughts ahead; be prepared to stop!

How unworthy I am of even being able to begin to comprehend what any of these words mean. My mind cannot even come close to grasping that kind of understanding. Lately I have reached for it, but not the kind I need. I have longed for an earthly understanding; an answer to the most popular human question, "why?" My quest has been in vain. Why is it I do things, knowing full well what the outcome will be? When I count on myself and the things I can do, and not on my God, I know what will happen...nothing. I have really struggled lately with letting go and letting God. I want to be in control and I think sometimes I want it so I will blame myself and not Him when it doesn't work out the way I want it to. Self-loathing is sometimes easier. I had a revelation today in my Bible study and I am praying with all I have I can keep it fresh and feed from it a while longer.

"Thus far in our study, we've viewed faith primarily from the standpoint of action. In other words, we believe; therefore, we act. Today we see a different and oftentimes harder dimension of faith: when faith requires us to do nothing at all, while our human nature screams to interfere. In these cases we believe; therefore, we do not act. Wisdom is knowing the difference between the two."

Blogger friends and family...I am reaching out to you for help through prayer. Please lift my heart up and pray with me,

"Holy, loving God, I am certainly not worthy of all you offer me. I want to remember every day, with thanks, Your wondrous gift which I am just not able to comprehend. I am such a sinner and fall short of You over and over, especially in my faith to Your will in my life. Lord, you know the desires of my heart, and through Your word, I should know Yours even better than I do. Father, I need empowerment from you; I believe you want me not to act in my current situation. I believe you want total control and want my total submission. I'm not sure I know what that entails, exactly, but I want to know. Lord, help me to know what you want me to do. I know you have tried to reach out to me before, but I think I ignored you. I don't want to ignore you, Father. I need your wisdom to know what to do. I don't want to take control. I want to believe, without a doubt, things will happen in Your timing. Father, help me to erase all doubts in my heart about your will and abilities. Hel me to know how to close the curtain on my show and open it to yours alone.

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow.



  1. You are thinking the right way. I know that it is so hard to let go and let GOD. I hope you know what if you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask. Sometimes you just need a friend to laugh with and especially cry with. You and your situation I think about daily...and I pray that everything will work out. You are a great person that deserves everything...God bless - steph

  2. For centuries people have tried to understand grace, mercy and forgiveness. All three things so opposite of our human nature. The more I study and the more I read, the more I realize God is SO amazing. Jesus blows me away with his mercy, and I'm overwhelmed with forgiveness.

    But I do realize that when I'm gracious, merciful and forgiving, I'm more like God at that point than any other time.

    Loved your thoughts today. Keep it up - Trey

  3. I am the exact same way - I crave control over all things. Although every time I surrender MY will to HIS, the outcome is filled with peace and grace, I so often choose my own way instead. I have a very hard time not doing anything - I always feel there must be something I can just do to make everything right.
    I will be on my knees for you as I struggle to learn the same lessons! Thank you for the reminders and the honesty.

  4. The world tells us we can trust in many things. Nothing of this world though, can offer a protection plan, long term security, or the benefits that trusting in God offers. Any other things which we place our trust in can fail. God never fails! In the words of King David, ". . .Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. . ."

    I had and have been praying for more patience. I was becoming confused because the more I asked for it the less I seemed to have. It got to the point I talked to someone about it and their response was golden. "How do you know you don't have patience?" I described the activities of any given day at school. When I finished my friend said, "Sounds to me like God gave you several chances to practice the patience He has given you. Why didn't you use it?" HMMMMM!

    My voice blends with yours as we pray for the same intentions. Pray too we don't forget to be still and listen for His reply.

  5. Lala,
    I loved your post. It is hard to know the difference between the two, but God wants to make it easy for us. The power of God's Word spoken outloud is so powerful in prayer. Pray God will take the doubt out, yell at Satan to leave you and your family alone, and pray for God to show you HIS WAY. "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks..." In Mark 11:23 the word "says", which is mostly translasted into the word Lego-to mean/to build, is used three times and the word belive is used once. We have to say what you want your heart to believe and that mountain will be cast into the sea. I love ya!

  6. Amen, Charla! I feel like the Lord has been revealing the same thing to me lately...to trust completely, and surrender my plans to Him for His better plan. I have been reading a lot lately about Abraham, Isaac, and others in the Bible that waited on the Lord, and have been encouraged by their tremendous faith. I will be praying for you. Thanks for sharing your heart and godly wisdom! In the midst of this trial God is using you...


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