Self-Diagnosis

When I started college, I began having some very strange and very scary breathing problems. Mainly, I would have "episodes" where I absolutely could NOT get a deep breath. The more I thought about it and tried, the harder it was. Seriously, the only things that helped were a good shoulder rub or a beer. I thought at first it was asthma. It would last sometimes for a day, other times for two weeks straight, with little relief. It is one of the most frustrating things in the world, to need a deep breath so badly and not be able to get it. I also was embarrassed in public because it was very obvious when I was having trouble breathing. I would take unnecessary breaths, and sigh all the time.

One time while I was at home with my parents, I noticed my dad breathing the same way...sitting up straight, fighting for a deep breath, not getting much relief...the frustration. I asked him about it. He said he'd had it for years and just thought it was "him." I asked him if his throat hurt all the time and he said it did. The muscles in my throat/esophagus would ache because I was constantly expanding them to try to get more air. He told me some things he had done to help relieve his symptoms, but nothing really helped. I did notice it was always better during the holidays, or during vacation from school, or while I was in a hot shower or getting a massage...anything relaxing (which, I guess is why the beer worked so well).

I finally went to the doctor during late college, and was diagnosed with "mild stress-induced asthma" and was given an inhaler. For a while I felt better and used my inhaler when I needed it. But I soon discovered my relief was psychosomatic more than anything. I wanted so badly to find relief, that I convinced myself the inhaler was working...but it wasn't. So, I've just continued to live life and deal with it as it comes.

Well, I've had a really bad case over Spring Break and I decided it was time for me to do a little research. Don't ask me WHY, I've never done it before now...it's been at least 8 years, probably longer. So, after much research this evening and perusing some online forums, I have come up with a self-diagnosis of anxiety disorder. Reading all of the information, it makes TOTAL sense and doesn't surprise me in the least. It was REALLY nice to read about other people who have experienced the strange breathing thing. I don't have full-blown panic attacks EVER, and I'm so thankful for that. I will go to my doctor sometime in the next month and talk to her about what we can do. There are medications to help, but I would rather not take them if I can do something else. About a month ago when it started getting really bad and I could feel my stress levels rising, I started doing yoga, which has helped a lot. We'll see.

Just call me Dr. Charla.