Crazy Hopeful Day

Psalm 33:21-22

from NIV

20We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield. 21In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

and from The Message

20-22 We're depending on God; he's everything we need. What's more, our hearts brim with joy since we've taken for our own his holy name. Love us, God, with all you've got—that's what we're depending on.

So, actually the craziness started last night. We got home from Altus around 10:00 and yesterday was the day Richard was supposed to give me the shot of Menopur. So, about a week ago I got all of my meds I will need for this process Fed Ex-ed from the fertility pharmacy. I looked through it, but didn't take specific inventory, except to see that it seemed everything was accounted for...BAD DECISION!!

Last night at 10:00, we realize we only have half of the dosage for the shot I'm supposed to get (this was the doctor's office's fault, not the pharmacy). So, Richard goes ahead and mixes it up and gives it to me, and I have him call the doctor in the morning (I was TAKS testing from 8:00-10:30, so I couldn't call).

Kristen, our FABULOUS nurse (we've actually only met with the dr. ONCE, during the initial visit...everything else has been done through Kristen, whom I love) said it was no big deal, but that if we could work it out she would really "prefer" us to come in today rather than wait for our scheduled appointment tomorrow. This was about 10:30 this morning that I talked to her, and I had to figure out what to do with my kiddos in the afternoon so we could go...but we did it (props to my BFF, Donna...you're the bombdiggity, girlie)!!

So, we headed AGAIN to Lubbock this afternoon and ended up having the ultrasound done today that WAS scheduled for tomorrow. Sheesh...are you following this?

So, I'm going to get a little technical, but hang with me if you feel up to it. The ultrasound was done today to check the size of the follicles growing on my ovaries (what will eventually turn into eggs). Normally, the follicles grow to a certain size, and then your body naturally releases the hormones necessary for ovulation. So, the ultrasound revealed I had a "beautiful" (Kristen's words, not mine) follicle that she loved AND that was already 18 mm (the PERFECT size). Also, there weren't any others that were growing nearly as fast (also a good thing), so the Clomid was doing it's job and the Menopur didn't hurt, either (even though we only got half the dose).

She did have me go ahead and test to make sure there weren't signs of impending ovulation, and when there weren't, she sent us on our way with instructions to take the other shot (human chorionic gonadotropin...hcg) tonight at 9:00. This needle was MUCH bigger than last night's, but it actually hurt less...Richard did a great job! This is what will force my body to ovulate. We go back to Lubbock on Saturday at 9:00 a.m. for what I will hope to be our final appointment (at least until baby #2 if we need help again)!

Kristen said, "It's amazing how things just work out. I am so glad you ended up coming to us today instead of tomorrow because it could have been too late then." And I said to Richard when we got in the car, "I know it didn't just work out," and he just smiled. We talked about how it "just happened" that the meds were mixed up and I didn't get the amount I was supposed to, and we had to call the dr., and she wanted us to come in today. Praise God.

We are excited to get this show on the road, knowing full well it may not work this time but deciding to be excited and anticipate it anyway. This afternoon, over Hickory Smoked BBQ and Hawaiian chicken at Wing Stop, I made a decision (if that image doesn't make you chuckle at least a tiny bit, I don't know what will)...I told Richard I was tired of always tempering my enthusiasm and excitement because I'm afraid I might be disappointed; my life's too short to always be in defensive mode when it comes to my feelings or hopes or disappointments. That's what life is about...ups and downs, and we have had our share of both. I've held my enthusiasm back for most of my adult life as a sort of self-preservation, but I don't want to do that anymore, if I can help it. At least not when it comes to having a child. We're just hoping for an "up" on Saturday and in the coming couple of weeks! So, I'm going to be really excited and hopeful that this thing will work and that we will be pregnant in a couple of weeks' time.

And if not, we'll deal with that, with the Lord's help, when the time comes.