Monday, June 22, 2009

The Epidemic Continues

Not long ago, I posted here about how my heart is so heavy and saddened by the state of and attitude towards marriages in our society, as well as those of some dear friends of ours.

While I know many of you will find it ridiculous and I've had others say they've completely written the family off, I have to tell you tonight I sat in bed and sobbed tears for the Gosselin family as I watched the announcement that first, they were separating, and then that as of today, a petition had been filed for the dissolution of their ten-year marriage.

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know my position on marriage and it's sacredness. While, as always, I mean no judgement on anyone facing divorce (my husband has been married and divorced once before I met him, so I have personal experience with how much hurt it can cause both the people involved as well as the people around them) or having the fresh wounds and heartache of such, I also must say that I can't help but deeply grieve for this family as if I knew them personally. I'm not the "star-struck" type. I don't normally care about celebrities or get into the tabloid gossip. But unlike a movie star or singer/songwriter's fame, this family became well-known for being just that...a family. And however hard they will try to make things normal for their children (and they have gone above and beyond the norm in most ways), these children will always be part of a broken home and will always have this as their legacy, and it makes my heart truly ache for all 10 of them.

Kate said she wasn't sure Jon understood the ramifications of this choice and that she never expected her children, years down the road, would be the ones talking to friends and having to say, "My parents divorced when I was (fill in the blank age)."

When she said that, I realized just how real this family is because I'm sure this is how most parents feel when they come to the point of divorce in their marriage. I can't imagine parent ever believes this is where they would end up and that their children would perhaps have stepparents and have to split their time between homes.

America has been invested in this family for five years now and, as they have been in our homes every Monday night, they have, in a sense, become like family to us. We yelled at Kate as she berated Jon, we laughed as the kids pulled crazy stunt after crazy stunt, and we now cry as the end of their union comes only months after renewing their wedding vows.

I am so sad. Criticize me if you will. I know it's a t.v. show. I know I don't know the whole story. But I don't have to. I think each of us has things we are super-sensitive about for whatever reason, and I believe the sanctity and beauty of marriage is one for me.

I sincerely pray that this family will find the peace they are searching for and that the foundation of their faith will remind them that TRUE peace doesn't come from being independent, or standing up for yourself, or being able to pay for each and every one of your children's college education, or doing "your own thing" because it's just too difficult to come together.

Instead of criticizing them, let's pray for them, won't you? This family needs Christian love now more than ever.

"The Lord gives His people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace." Psalm 29:11

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  1. aloha Charla! I am so happy to hear that SOMEBODY else out there is also saddened by this news of the Gosselin family! I will, of course, be praying for them as well because marriage IS sacred...I believe that when a man & woman enter into a marriage COVENANT, they also invite our Lord & Savior into this union...Thank you for your insight on this matter!

  2. HEy girl, I have never watched this show but I am saddened by what has gone on there.

    I can tell you that the children WILL say "my parents divorced when I was ____ fill in the blank" they will not only say it once, but they will say it for the rest of their lives.

    Amen sister, loved your post on this subject. WE should be praying for this couple, what a testimony it would be if they got back together and worked things out!

  3. I think there are lots of people saddened by it all....which ultimately shows that the world is full of people that care and hold the sacredness of marriage highly. I too will pray for this family. Thanks for the post.

  4. I too was very saddened at the news. Not surprised, but it was so sad to hear them say what we all expected.

    Thanks for the reminder that rather than being critical, I should be prayerful.

  5. Good to know that I'm not the only one saddened by this. You are so right that they need our prayers. Last night's episode was truly heartbreaking.

  6. I too was sad last night...sick to my stomach. I kept wanting to take them both and shake them. You know what is upsetting the most...the fact that the Gosslins and America think that marriage isn't suppose to take work AND that the best thing for there kids is to split-up. THAT IS A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL...(OK so I am a little fired-up) So many parents say they would die for their kids, but I think the better question is, "DO YOU LOVE YOUR KIDS ENOUGH TO LIVE A SELF-SACRIFICIAL LIFE FOR THEM (Eph 5:1-2). Do you love you kids enough to respect, honor, and sacrifice for their Daddy?

  7. I feel the same way! I even woke up thinking about it this morning. It absolutely breaks my heart. Thanks for the post. I'll join in and pray.

  8. great post!! such a sad story!!!! i, too, fell in love with this family....i just hate it!!

  9. There is no one that plans for a marriage to fail. No one says "well, we'll just divorce if it doesn't work out." No matter what others think, it just isn't true.

    Satan has worked in this family for a long time. It isn't something that "just happened". I'll be honest, I did not watch all the shows that lead up to the announcement because it was obvious of what the ending would be. It just made me too sick to think of 10 more children in this world without a mom and dad at home. I don't know the story, I don't know what happened. All I know is Satan was there and still is.

    As married couples, we have to constantly be on our guard against selfishness. It is so easy to say "I deserve a break!" You do deserve a break but so does your partner. When you add children into the mix, espcially multiples, you both deserve a break even more! BUT.....when your needs become more important than your partner's it is time for a reality check! Satan is there every day of every moment trying to convince you that you are more important than anyone or anything else. You cannot let him in!

    Don't only pray for this family but pray for all families. Marriage is sanctified by God. No one has the right to destroy it!

  10. TV or not, this family needs our prayers. It's not my place to be judgmental, but rather prayerful on their behalf. I hope they are praying for their own marriage, as well.
    Great post!

  11. I never watched this show because,honestly I can't stand to see a wife be so critical of her husband constantly, I believe wives should respect their husbands as the God appointed spiritual leader of the home, especially if you profess that you are a Christian for this reason, I never watched the show much.

    The fact that they are divorcing is very sad to me. I pray that God will do a miracle in this marriage and put it back together, all things are possible with God.

    Thanks for the post, it was wonderful...

  12. I am sad for them too. I was really hoping the announcement was going to be that they were postponing or canceling the show while they had time to work on their marriage. I am glad to see the TLC is giving them space while they figure this new situation out.

  13. Excellent Post. I cried too! I was REALLY caught off when they said they've been going through this for 7-8 months because they got their vows renewed 10 months ago :S and they PROMISED their kids they would be together forever. I wish they would've stopped the show to get Christian marriage counceling whenever things got tough.

    I feel like Jon is having his "midlife crisis moment" yes he's younger but fame will cause that to happen.

    The kids of course are my primary concern for this family. They still aren't old enough to truly understand divorce, and now they are going to see daddy with a new girlfriend instead of daddy at home with mommy. That is so tough I can't imagine going to kindergarten followed by paparazzi, cameras, and only one parent that has to be shared among 8 kids :-(

    You aren't the only one sista!!


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