Big, Big Sigh...

...after a big, big cry reading all of your wonderful comments!  You have no idea, and I will never be able to explain to you how much your support and prayers mean to us.

I never in a million years could have imagined how overwhelming and stressful being pregnant could be, but it is also absolutely amazing, powerful, and humbling.

I thought I would post a little bit about the beginning of our journey that has gotten me to 12 weeks and 1 day pregnant with TWINS!

Some of you have probably read about our journey with infertility.  After trying to get pregnant for about 8 months (which we thought was FOREVER at the time), we finally conceived in January of 2007.  By March of 2007 I was miscarrying our first child at about 9 weeks.   We were absolutely devastated and this event started a downward spiral for me mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  I was in a deep depression for a full year.  But even in those darkest of times, God was preparing me for something more.  He was working on my cold, dark heart in ways I never could have imagined.

Not long after that first loss, we started seeing a specialist for what we thought would be an "easy fix."  We were never formally diagnosed, except to say that we had "unexplained infertility."  Thanks.  

We did all sorts of procedures and tests, including a handful of IUIs (intrauterine insemination).  

January of 2008 we found out we were pregnant again, completely naturally.  Only days after getting a positive test, I was miscarrying again.  This time it wasn't as rough on me.  I was almost expecting it in some ways.  I knew from the beginning something wasn't quite right, but it was still hard and very frustrating. 

 We decided to take some time off of infertility treatments because they are just plain exhausting on all fronts.  

When we finally started up again, we decided to do one more IUI in the hopes it would be successful and we wouldn't have to continue to IVF.  

It didn't work.  

So, we took some more time off, and started planning IVF.  In the meantime, God was working in our lives in big, big ways and preparing us for things we couldn't have imagined.  We started a new business that was immediately successful.  All the cards were falling in place, and yet I was still so unwilling to be excited or see God's plan.  I knew He was working, and I knew I would be okay with whatever He chose, but it is hard to open your heart completely when you've been hurt so many times before. 

At this point, we had been trying to get pregnant for almost 4 years.  

In July of 2010 I started all of the meds and shots to get my body prepared for in-vitro fertilization. 

Once again, God was working.  My mother retired in May and was able to spend a month with us the summer while we prepared for the procedure.  She stayed with me for a week in Lubbock so we wouldn't have to drive back and forth and so McHotterson wouldn't have to miss work and could continue working on our house (oh yeah, in the middle of all of this craziness we moved and started remodeling our new place).  

On August 14th, the retrieval was done, and we were able to get a good number of eggs, most of which were high quality.  They were fertilized and we ended up with 9 good embryos.  

On August 19th, 2 of those embryos were transferred into my uterus (we have a picture of it...so cool), and 4 were frozen immediately.  The remaining 3 were allowed the chance to grow one more day to see if they had any potential for being viable embryos, but they did not.  

The next two weeks were the longest, and most stressful in my entire life!  But, on August 30th we were given the AMAZING news we were pregnant!  

Then, on September 20th we went in for our first ultrasound since the transfer and were SHOCKED and overwhelmed with JOY to discover we were pregnant with TWINS!  We knew there was a chance this would happen, but I think we were both still very overwhelmed.  I walked out of that office on cloud 9!  

Our subsequent ultrasounds have been amazing.  Because I am high-risk (IVF, twins, and a few complications) we get to see the babies fairly regularly, which is great for this natural worrier!  

In fact, we have our next appointment tomorrow, the 28th.  We will see our fertility specialist for the last time (that truly makes me sad), and have a second appointment with our maternal/fetal specialist.  We will set up an appointment for a cerclage and get to see the babies TWICE in one day!  YAY! 

Please know the story I just relayed is a very, very abbreviated version of our true journey.  Honestly, there are parts of it I just don't care to relive, but for the most part (and those of you who know me can attest to this), I have to the WORST memory on the face of the earth! 

I will leave you with some of the newest pics of the kids and hopefully tomorrow I will get some new pics to share, as well!  

Baby B, on his back giving us his profile...so cute!!  11w2d but measuring 12 w

Baby A standing on his head!  11w2d but measuring 12 w

TWINKIES!  This is a little earlier...I think at about 10 weeks.